THE CASE: When Exit Interviews Lie
Deepa, CHRO, conducts exit interviews religiously. The answers are always vague: "Better opportunity," "Career growth," "Personal reasons."
She suspects there's more. But by the time they're leaving, employees have already emotionally checked out. They won't say the truth because they don't want to burn bridges.
The truth: 60% lie in exit interviews (SHRM). Social desirability bias wins.
Real reasons employees leave:
- Manager relationship: 75%
- Lack of growth: 68%
- Toxic culture: 55%
But they won't say it in exit interviews. By then, they're mentally gone and focused on not burning bridges.
The solution: Don't wait until they leave. Run "Stay Interviews" with current employees.
The Evidence
60% lie in exit interviews (SHRM)
Real reasons: Manager (75%), Growth (68%), Culture (55%) (Gallup)
"Stay Interviews": 40% reduction in turnover (Gallup)
Third-party post-exit interviews: 2X more honest (SHRM)
The Stay Interview Framework
Step 1: Stop Relying on Exit Interviews
Exit interviews are data about people who've already decided to leave. The information is too late to be actionable.
Instead: Run "Stay Interviews" with current employees—especially high performers and critical roles.
Step 2: The Stay Interview Questions
Ask these questions in 1:1s with current employees:
- "What makes you stay?"
- "What would make you consider leaving?"
- "What's one thing you'd change about your role?"
- "What's frustrating you that I might not know about?"
- "Is there anything that's made you consider other opportunities?"
Key: Listen without getting defensive. Take notes. Follow up.
Step 3: Get Honest Post-Exit Feedback
For recent departures, hire a neutral third party for post-exit interview 3-6 months later.
- Time has passed—less emotional
- Third party = psychological safety
- No bridge to burn anymore
Result: 2X more honest feedback.
The Experiment: Stay Interview Pilot
For 4 weeks:
- Identify 10 high performers or critical roles
- Schedule 30-minute Stay Interviews
- Ask the 5 questions above
- Document themes
- Take action on at least one theme
Track: Quality of insights vs. exit interviews, action taken, retention over next 6 months.
Expected outcome: Richer insights, earlier warning signs, higher retention.
Sources & References
- SHRM. Exit Interview and Retention Study. 2023.
- Gallup. Why Employees Really Leave. 2023.
- Beverly Kaye. Love 'Em or Lose 'Em. (Stay Interview methodology)
Key Takeaways
- Exit interviews capture lies, not truth—60% of employees won't be honest
- Real reasons people leave: manager, growth, culture—not "better opportunity"
- Stay Interviews get honest answers while employees are still engaged
- Third-party post-exit interviews are 2X more honest
- The best retention strategy is asking "What would make you leave?" before they do